bRyanair to challenge Virgin Galactic in low-cost space travel
News about Ashton Kutcher grabbing Virgin Galactic ticket no 500. made recently headlines only to be eclipsed by an announcement that stunned everyone. The famous Irish low-cost carrier bRyanair will challenge Virgin Galactic in the most daring enterprise in the history of commercial aviation – space flights. WhichAirline attended the press conference.
Scantily clad girls at the press conference
Today's press conference with CEO Brian O'Dreary is the event of the month. O'Dreary strode confidently into the press room accompanied by a bunch of bikini-clad ladies known from the bRyanair Calender. Before any question was asked, O'Dreary proclaimed: «That is one small step for bRyanair but a hell of a journey for the average low-cost traveller.»
Removed oxygen masks from planes
O'Dreary is a controversial figure who has gained notoriety for his extravagant PR style and unpopular decisions like the elimination of oxygen masks from bRyanair's planes to add more space in overhead bins for pre-paid extra hand luggage and on-board shopping offers arguing that „It is a myth that passengers inevitably die of suffocation without such equipment. Our independent study has shown that the will to live and enjoy our Friday-sales increases the survival rate ever three times more that oxygen masks!“
Cooperation with Russians
When asked about Virgin Galactic, he did not try to hide his contempt. «While Branson is squandering money on unnecessary research, we have always demonstrated our commitment to cutting costs. That is why we want to take advantage of the existing technology and infrastructure. Many fully operational spacecraft are left after the Russian space exploration program. Tons of almost perfectly maintained equipment are kicking around at the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan. What a waste! We have also reached a preliminary agreement with Russians and are ready to take over one of their space stations operating in low Earth orbit. Let Ashton Kutcher waste fortune on something as madly overrated as his acting talent. We are here to make space travel available for the 99% of people.»
One-way tickets from only $50
He went on to present the business model of bRyanair Cosmic. Unsurprisingly, O'Dreary remains faithful to the low-cost model, providing no frill services with base fare covering only the flight. The rest including spacesuit, a proper amount of oxygen and access to the high-tech vacuum toilets comes at an additional charge. He also added «Our business model does not restrict the liberty of our passengers – we will allow one-way flights for as low as $50».
The time will show whether bRyanair Cosmic will share the fate of another of O'Dreary's projects bRyanair Atlantic. Should the Irish businessman succeed, the war in the aviation world will reach literally new heights.
Slawomir Budziak, Apr 1, 2012
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